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Rap Battle to get into the mood for your next game

PostPosted: 16 May 2019, 21:33
by StarkAdder
WARNING: language is a bit salty

BBC and the makers of Epic Rap Battles in History created this little number about the origins of World War One. Worth watching before your next game of Diplomacy to get into the mood:

Yes, I know that Turkey and Italy are missing and France doesn't speak. But it is still pretty funny. I hope to see future games where one side challenges the other to a rap-off in Public Press....

L'il Sneezy
(aka StarkAdder)

Re: Rap Battle to get into the mood for your next game

PostPosted: 17 May 2019, 04:55
by Tortellacci
I've seen this before - I like it, but as you said, it would be so much better if Italy & Turkey were included, and France spoke.

Re: Rap Battle to get into the mood for your next game

PostPosted: 18 May 2019, 08:55
by SimonMH
Perhaps these little exchanges from the recently concluded R1G1 of the Online Diplomacy Championship will encourage you. (Warning, very rude!)

(Russia, having attacked England all game, is now throwing the game to Italy)

I should add that in private Russia was begging England to stop by the end. Make of that what you will.

E: That filthy Russki kneels low
His Roma's cock is all aglow
He loves to suck and squeeze b(e)low
Gasps Rome, 'My God! My Tsar! My Hoe!'

R: Well looky here, hold my beer, I see a shot cross my bow,
A key stroke from the pink bloke, tryina raise an eyebrow.
This smitten kitten from Britain, sad, mad, snakebitten,
Just sitten and spitten, like he can’t find his mitten.

I suggest that you best go back to sipping high tea.
You nyet wanna get in a rap battle with me.

Coming out here all salty, with a fucking four-liner,
Like yer some kinda poet; not a habitual whiner.
A sublime little rhyme, about a cock-sucking criminal.
Okay, so you’re just as crude as you are unoriginal.

You aint, like a Saint, bro, you more like the damned,
But let’s be clear, why we here, and your Chunnel is jammed,
It’s not cause we fought, or your lack of gentility,
It’s not the pungent odor of your contemptibility.

It’s not for your stabs, or the insults you threw,
Although, we both know, that all happened too.
No, you’re taking this loss, like a turkey takes stuffing,
Cause you tried to call my bluff when I wasn’t bluffing.

E: The rapping Russian's lines are loooooong
The scansion? Well, that's just all wrong.
There's culture, meter, rhyme and art
But Russia's lines aren't worth one fart.

His Eyetie Master loves them though
'Oh Russia! Now get back below
Your poetry and play are shit
But when you lick, now that's a hit!'

R: Step up, step up, to the carnival show, see,
The one and only one-trick pony.
He’s not fit to trot, or to jump off a dock
He just writes poems about dudes sucking cock.

Hey tooth-missin Briton, we heard this one before,
You lose, then you call everyone else a gay whore.
It’s not witty, it’s shitty, and it’s offensive too,
It says less about me than it says about you.

E: The rotten Russki takes offence!
He throws the game and screams 'You're bent!
But if he were not Rome's bum boy
These lines would not his calm destroy

How must it be, I idly ask
To wake each morning, think 'At last!
Today I'll plan my own demise
So Roma's cock can get a rise!'?

Roma's slut is getting old
His jaw and tongue are scabbed with mold
But Roma isn't finished yet
“Bend over boy, my big baguette...”