General Domestic Issues

[anaupr]

please no large nukes. we would not like to be collateral damage. so dont, like, blow the entire earth in half... and i just gave you a good idea, didnt i? uh-oh.

[kingpie3]

I would never! I happen to live on Earth, so I really wouldn't want to blow it up.

[Subotai45]

You won't blow the earth in half to get to us! No balls!

[Subotai45]

Following a recent piece of legislation passed by the Venusian Senate, all Venusian children will learn three languages. This initiative is designed to negate sectionalist feeling and strengthen the unity of the nation as a whole. "When all lips speak the same language," the Premier says, "our hearts and mind will be as one."

The three languages taught to each student will vary, but every Venusian child will learn Venusian, which derives from a mixture of Argentine and Cytherean. Although the official language of government, it has failed to impact a significant portion of the population. This will soon change as the initiative begins to take effect, allowing students from such disparate places as Mar del Plata and Altaiir to speak to each other without need of a translation. (OOC: Don't ask me how the heck the PCGers, Pallisians, and the Venusians are all talking to each other in the Academy. I haven't the foggiest idea).

Students will also make a choice between learning Argentine or Cytherean, the two main languages of Venus, although if their native language is one of the two, they will automatically, ah, "choose", the other. This will result in nearly everyone in the Republic of Venus becoming capable of speaking nearly any other citizen, regardless of whether one of the parties is monolingual. It's also predicted to assist in the learning of Venusian, as the official language is based off of the two vernaculars.

In the same initiative, the rights of local peoples to continue to speak their language is protected. Pallisian and Jerseyan are taught in areas where they are ethnic majorities, preserving their right to retain their culture. (OOC: As uncivilized as it may be. I don't think Pallas took steps to kill the socialist gangster rap Nar kept trying to send to us) Certain individuals argue that this is merely an attempt to enforce uniformity on culturally diverse regions, and create a uniformity, although others praise it as an example of compromise that all nations should take heed of.

Some say that there were those who violently opposed the Three-Language Standard, although they were certainly mistaken. These fictitious radicals may have begun to assemble arms, if they did in fact exist. If they were real, and not fictitious, they would certainly have been killed by the SSC. But it is not as though that happened, because the aforementioned rebels did not exist.

There are absolutely not 35 dead rebels in the basement of 22 Amarillo Street, the headquarters of the Dockworkers' Union, which is not the Section 9 Headquarters (Jersey Islands Region). The box labeled "Wiffleball stuff" does not in fact include include their cremated corpses. It has the requisite equipment for the annual Dockworkers vs Public Transport workers charity match, and the public transport workers are absolutely not working for Section 10. The box will not accidently be dumped into the Jersey Sea at 1:22 PM by an individual who is certainly not working for a shadowy branch of the government.

Because all of that would be a little bit scary. Do you realize how paranoid you would sound, if you were to say that? The government is here to protect us. They don't launch raids on citizens' homes in the middle of the night. We live in a democracy, with elected leaders and everything. Things like that simply do not happen here.

Although if they were to happen - good riddance. Those separatist scum, thinking they can hurt our nation like that. Idiots.

[narwhalwarlord]

That was kinda odd, to be honest. But the idea of Tupac in an ushanka making it rain food stamps to the proletariat is just too good.

[Subotai45]

That's the only reason I ever had social services, you know. Fending off the socialist gangster rap.

[narwhalwarlord]

With such great artists as MC Hammer (and sickle), you couldn't possibly fend it off.

[Subotai45]

I think the Holy State outlawed it. Maybe. That was actually one of the major causes of the theocracy, forming a government so I could halt the spread of rap. We were also considering military intervention in the Illuminati to cure the area of bad music.

[kingpie3]

You think rap is bad music?

[Bob.Durf]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reTx5sqvVJ4