The Jilted Lover

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The Jilted Lover

Postby mtgoat » 10 Dec 2008, 00:21

Setting: I'm in a game right now where my Italy decided to make a go at jumping Austria out of the gate. Opened Lepanto, got Turkey on board attacking Russia, then jumped into Trieste and would have had the convoy to Greece if Turkey hadn't messed up his support. The net result is that it's spring 1902, Austria and I both got one build, and Turkey still trusts me enough to have only one fleet, in the Black Sea, with no possibility of stopping the convoy to Syria.

All this is preamble to a question about people who simply lose their mind when you cross them. Austria and I still have great potential together. I built F-Nap to show my lack of hostility and would gladly withdraw from Trieste to keep the relationship. It makes more sense than any other move right now. My neighbor, however, has come completely unhinged over the loss of a single center in '01 and no amount of apologizing and rationalizing will get through. I have tried at least four times today alone and he won't hear it. That's OK. I understand. What I don't understand is this player's need to curse me out in a series of messages throughout the day, taking aim at my person, family and heredity. It's actually kind of funny at this point since he's apparently making similar comments to my neighbors and demanding they *%&# me up out of a sense of fairness. Rather than jumping to his aid they seem (rightly) concerned about his mental state and I'm pretty sure he'll be out before me, his cause not being helped by openly announcing that he'll be giving up all advances in other directions to get back at me. Ultimately I probably won't win myself but at least I'll walk away with my dignity intact.

So I'm curious about two things: first, at what point do you give up even trying to get on with someone? What are the limits of your patience/capacity for abuse?

Second, and more interesting, what's the furthest anyone has ever pursued a grudge with you? Death threat over a single dot? Mailbomb to your grandmother for missed support? Eternal damnation for poor punctuation in a PM? Enough serious folks play this game that I have to imagine there are a few great stories out there just begging to be told.
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Re: The Jilted Lover

Postby Diplomat » 10 Dec 2008, 01:19

So I'm curious about two things: first, at what point do you give up even trying to get on with someone? What are the limits of your patience/capacity for abuse?

Second, and more interesting, what's the furthest anyone has ever pursued a grudge with you? Death threat over a single dot? Mailbomb to your grandmother for missed support? Eternal damnation for poor punctuation in a PM? Enough serious folks play this game that I have to imagine there are a few great stories out there just begging to be told.


First, I would end any effort now and don't go back. It sounds like you reached my limits long ago. Actually my limit is rather smaller than that. In a recent game 1 player was trying to get a east/west combo triple going and he and I were neighbors (I'm Italy here). I made a very reasonable request I though, regarding not building a fleet, but he did anyway. When he started accusing me of being childish I had enough and did not respond to him again for a while. It helped that messages from the other triple partner supported my view of the situation. For me though, as I was not really comfortable in that situation to begin with, all it took was references to children throwing toys and I had had enough. 2 people can disagree of course, no issue there, but personal attacks are too much.

Now... That being said...

While I don't hold grudges I will say that the worst situation I found myself in was a game with Ifni months ago. I took over an empty spot and Ifni, who was leading at the time, seduced me to his side over MD and... I can't remember now. The game was set to end in a 4 way draw at one point, everyone agreeing but me, when Ifni contacted me and asked me to reject it, said he did not accept knowingly. I went ahead and rejected, though I was inclined to accept, and the game went on. What I did not know was that mdmuff had contacted him and told him that he (md) would give Ifni his centers to get the solo just so I would get no points from the draw. Ifni stabbed me the next turn, and took MD's 3 points, to take the solo. While waiting for the game to end I offered a draw up and tried to guilt and browbeat Ifni into accepting it, saying things that were offensive, hoping to change his mind but he withstood the pressure and took the solo. I actually started a topic about it because, knowing what he did as a person in RL, I trusted him more than I should have. My bad, not his at all.

Now, just to be clear, by 'offensive' I don't mean I said things about his family, mother, or personal life choices. I called on him to keep his word, and refered to Judas and his 30 pieces of silver, that kind of thing.

Interesting I don't trust Ifni to this day as a result of that, and if I don't have a position of superiority, I generally look for other allies. Its crazy on my part I think, since he has made a great ally for MR several times, and others. Just my quirk I suppose.

Anyway, thats what I've got, and its worth a laugh now for sure.
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Re: The Jilted Lover

Postby Master Radishes » 10 Dec 2008, 07:49

Ifni is a great ally...as long as you know how far you can trust him. ;) I'd say that's not very far, but he surprises me sometimes.

I haven't been involved in too many disputes, myself. Seen them happen on the board, sure, but I usually manage to stay out of them. Generally I'm like Dip, I guess - one immature insult thrown, and I'm done talking to the person. (Sometimes it's just too tempting to keep stringing them along, though...see how angry you can make them...I mean, uh, I'd never do something like that.)
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Re: The Jilted Lover

Postby IKeelYou » 10 Dec 2008, 09:54

People are stupid. I like to string them along. :)
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Re: The Jilted Lover

Postby Dar Krum » 12 Dec 2008, 17:20

The ranters tend to make mistakes anyway, but I like to keep poking at them to get them really riled up.
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Re: The Jilted Lover

Postby Diplomat » 12 Dec 2008, 19:53

Yes, yes you do. ;)
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Re: The Jilted Lover

Postby mtgoat » 12 Dec 2008, 22:39

Dar Krum wrote:The ranters tend to make mistakes anyway, but I like to keep poking at them to get them really riled up.



The question then is how (un)subtly to poke. Little jabs or the obnoxious grandstanding of the assured victor? I'm about one turn away from suggesting that I must have inherited some pretty good diplomatic genes from my "whore of a mother"...

I did try finding this guy on facebook to repeatedly "poke" him there but wound up with my account on probation...
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Re: The Jilted Lover

Postby Diplomat » 13 Dec 2008, 01:00

hah :!: .... watch it!
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