Team Africa's Captain Interviewed

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Team Africa's Captain Interviewed

Postby detroit_red » 29 Sep 2010, 08:57

Image

TEAM AFRICA SPEAKS OUT
A Swiss Observer Exclusive
28 September 2010 | Los Angeles, CA

Image Ain't no better exercise than stabbing imperialists."

Everyone's talking about the Playdip World Cup. My special guest tonight is one of the greatest Diplomacy players of our time. His critics would say he's arrogant, conceited, and a loudmouth; his supporters would claim that he's genius, poet, spokesman for his people--all that and beautiful along with it. Whatever you may think about him, one thing is indisputable: he's full of fighting spirit, and this time he's set his sights on the rest of the world… the captain of Team Africa: detroit_red.

SO: You've made some pretty strong statements about Team Africa's chances in this tournament. Is that just hyperbole and showmanship?

DR: Please. No one has thrown their hat in the ring that gives me the slightest pause. I absolutely believe that my team can trounce any and all comers without breaking a sweat. I have a hard time believing the world could possibly be so foolish as to think any of these other teams could beat us. They're insects that will get swatted once they manage to attract our notice.

SO: Isn't all that talk to just "psych out" your opponents?

DR: C'mon now--I don't have to. They're already consumed by doubt. Honestly, I pity them--how can they compete? They don't have our skill, our good looks, our charm… they're outclassed in every respect. There's a reason teams have been so slow to form: they're scared of us. We were the first to throw down the gauntlet, and they're too frightened to step up. They know they have no chance, but can't bring themselves to just relinquish the trophy to us and avoid the humiliating trouncing they're due.

SO: Why Team Africa? I mean, you live in Los Angeles. Why not an LA or California or West Coast team?

DR: Because to me the idea of community is not a question of geography; it's a question of cultural identity. It's about ongoing struggles for self-determination. I could easily field a downright ass-kicking team composed solely of Angelenos. But instead I wanted to represent something that isn't just a patch of ground--I wanted to represent something that embodies the complexities of my heritage, something with deeper roots than the city my family settled in only 50 years ago.

SO: Africa is an idea to you.

DR: Absolutely. Almost a mythical ideal. I know people who can trace their ancestry back a thousand years to some important European royal family or other. But I can't do that. My family tree doesn't look like that--it has has question marks and outright lies and branches where it just plain stops. But one thing I know for sure is: its roots sink down in African soil. Africa is the motherland.

Africa has had this global image of tragedy and travesty in my lifetime, but I think we're arriving at a point in time when Africa can definitively shed that unfortunate characterization. I want people to see that. There's so much more to Africa than Darfur and Zimbabwe, in the same way that there's more to the US than McDonalds and Hollywood. I feel very strongly that Africa is the future of our planet.

And we're here to prove it.

SO: That's no easy task.

DR: I disagree. It's an easy thing for us to win this competition. The trouble is really in getting the rest of the world to treat us as equals. We've already won these games; what we're after is respect. To have Africans covered in the media abroad without inherent condescension. African nations are constantly referred to as if they are children just now growing up, and there's something insidious about it--a sort of of deliberate myopia regarding African history. What would be more appropriate to say is that Africa is reclaiming its birthright, its native sovereignty, and its natural wealth: having shaken off so many shackles--finally an Africa for Africans.

SO: You've had some harsh words in the past for "imperialists", and you've used that word to characterize many of your opponents. How do you regard representing Africa by playing a game as the head of an imperial power bent on conquest?

DR: I have harsh words for everyone. I think I probably have some harsh words for you after a question like that. Don't think I don't hear you gripping the word imperialist with those derisive little quotation marks of yours! ...Seriously?

SO: Yes, seriously.

DR: Bah. "Ain't no better exercise than stabbing imperialists." That what you want to hear me say? You gonna quote that in big letters at the top of your column?

SO: Um, well--moving on: among your many boasts, you've touted the "iron livers" of your team. Do you think your drinking problem may impact your team's performance?

[sounds of glass breaking]

[end of transcript]

TEAM AFRICA
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Re: Team Africa's Captain Interviewed

Postby Kian » 29 Sep 2010, 09:23

Can I buy a T-Shirt????

Talk about raising the stakes - if everyone emulates Team Africa this World Cup event will be a classic!

If I was any good these days I would be out looking for a team.

Respect DR and Team Africa...
Last edited by Kian on 29 Sep 2010, 17:33, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Team Africa's Captain Interviewed

Postby Captain Twig » 29 Sep 2010, 09:31

I'm so glad to be in team Africa.

With DR on my side, there's no hope for anyone.

The expendables picture is just genius.

Team Africa is pure brilliance. Just epic, stylish, legend.
Y
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w
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t
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m
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.


Oh yeah!
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Re: Team Africa's Captain Interviewed

Postby raphtown » 29 Sep 2010, 10:30

Hats off. One of the most awesome images I have ever seen.
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Re: Team Africa's Captain Interviewed

Postby Waterice man » 29 Sep 2010, 12:20

I poked the Penguin
Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?

The word 'surrender' derives from old French
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Re: Team Africa's Captain Interviewed

Postby Stander » 29 Sep 2010, 15:18

Waterice man wrote:I poked the Penguin

Bad move.
Baaaaaadddd move.
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Re: Team Africa's Captain Interviewed

Postby TheCraw » 29 Sep 2010, 17:29

Stander wrote:
Waterice man wrote:I poked the Penguin

Bad move.
Baaaaaadddd move.

I'd listen to him if I were you...
Image
Very clever, Mr. Smart...
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Re: Team Africa's Captain Interviewed

Postby Kian » 29 Sep 2010, 17:36

raphtown wrote:Hats off. One of the most awesome images I have ever seen.


Though... the phrase

¨Stander eh? How can we tell????¨

jumped unbidden into my mind ;)
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Than be the death o' twenty." Lines on War - Rabbie Burns
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Re: Team Africa's Captain Interviewed

Postby detroit_red » 30 Sep 2010, 10:34

Kian wrote:Can I buy a T-Shirt????

Dunno if you're serious, Kian, but I actually intend to do a short run of shirts for my teammates at one of the local printers. I just need to clean up some of the high-resolution artwork... (I made some compromises in rushing to publish that would probably show up in a larger image). But I'd be happy to do a few more for members of the Team Africa fan club.
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Re: Team Africa's Captain Interviewed

Postby Master Radishes » 30 Sep 2010, 21:23

Yadda yadda yadda. When Team Canada wipes your team off the floor, we'll go ahead and make Africa our third colony.

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